If you’re an expecting parent who is about to have their third child, you’ve probably heard it all. Some people will tell you it’s just as easy as raising two; others will warn you about how difficult it is. The reality is that every family situation is different and experiences will vary.
However, there are still some universal tips and tricks that are parent-approved for raising a third child. Read on to learn how to navigate conflict, give everyone equal amounts of attention, deal with the extra mess, and much more.
8 Helpful Tips for Raising a Third Child
1. Don’t Compare: Think of Each Child as a Gift
Every child is special in their own way, with their own talents, interests, and personalities. As much as you’re accustomed to your other two children, try not to compare them to your third child. This will only lead to resentment, confusion, and hurt feelings.
Embrace the new conversations, parenting tactics, and even challenges that your third child brings to the table. After all, each child is a gift!
2. (Try to) Give Every Child Equal Attention
Giving every child equal attention when you have multiple children is a challenge. After all, you’re only one person—you can’t split yourself into thirds! It won’t always be possible to provide each of your children with your full attention whenever they want it, especially the older ones. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try!
It may help to focus on “micro-moments”. By that, we mean giving each child 10-minute bursts of undivided attention, as opposed to trying to carve out big blocks of time. You can also schedule one-on-one time whenever possible. For example, when the baby goes to sleep, you can alternate nights reading one of the older children an extra bedtime story.
3. Encourage Older Children to Help Out
Encouraging older children to help out with younger children can be a great way to teach responsibility and compassion. One way to encourage older children to help with younger children is by asking them to help out with specific tasks.
For example, older children can be in charge of:
- Reading to their younger siblings
- Helping with feeding the baby
- Handling small chores, like putting away toys
- Organizing or leading games during playtime
Remember: your older children are still children, and they shouldn’t be given any responsibilities that are too “grown-up” for them. However, getting them involved in small ways is good for their independence, confidence, and work ethic. (Plus, you get to witness some sweet moments between your children!)
4. Accept the Mess
Nobody likes looking at that pile of toys or unfolded laundry. However, with three kids, cleaning clutter is probably not going to be your first priority (or even your second or third!) It may be hard, but you’ve got to just accept the mess.
Instead of trying to constantly clean, it’s okay to let things go and wait to tidy up at the end of the day. If you’re embarrassed to have people over, you can either clean the rooms they’ll be in (like the kitchen or living room) or explain that you just didn’t have the time. (They’ll likely be very understanding. After all, they’re probably dealing with the same things at home!)
If you really can’t stand the mess, try busy-parent-approved cleaning tips such as:
- Open bins: Utilize open-top bins and baskets for quick cleanups that don’t require organizing.
- Drop-zones: Set up spots near doors for shoes, backpacks, and coats to prevent clutter from spreading across the house.
- 15-minute tidy: For 15 minutes, twice a day, have everyone (who’s able to) pitch in and clean the main rooms.
- Donation declutter: If your child hasn’t touched a toy in two weeks, it’s time to donate it.
5. Teach the Older Children to Get Along
Your older children may feel overwhelmed and upset by the addition of a new baby—and that’s completely normal and okay! However, an alliance between your older children may make it easier for them to navigate their new version of home life together.
If your kids are struggling to get along, create boundaries and encourage teamwork by:
- Setting rules for sharing toys and personal space
- Giving them shared tasks, like putting away their toys together
- Stepping back and letting them resolve minor arguments
- Rewarding them when you see them playing nice
6. Embrace Hand-Me-Downs
It’s very tempting to want to dress your baby up in brand-new, complicated outfits. (They just look so cute all dolled up in a bow or funny t-shirt!) However, while it might have been easy to do with the first or second kid, you’re going to find that it’s more difficult (and expensive) to do the same for the third.
And that’s okay! Not only do babies not care what they’re wearing, but they look cute in anything. Embrace the hand-me-downs from your older children, and don’t feel like you have to worry about all the accessories. Just grab whatever is clean (or clean-ish) and comfortable!
7. Be Ready for Tough Decisions
Things will not always fall into place when you have a third baby. Sometimes, you’ll be doing something for your older children, and that’s when the baby will start to cry. You’re going to feel torn—but the reality is that you can’t make everyone happy at the same time, so you’ve got to make tough decisions.
As long as the baby is safe, it’s okay to let them cry for a minute or two as you finish up with your older children. If you always rush to your third child, then the other two will feel neglected. It won’t be easy, but it will be necessary to keep the peace (and your sanity).
8. Accept Help When It’s Offered
When it comes to your kids, it can feel natural to want to handle everything by yourself. However, don’t try to shoulder all the responsibilities on your own; that’s the quickest way to burn yourself out. Accept help from friends, neighbors, and other family members whenever possible. They care about you and want to make things easier!
When your children reach a certain age, you may also want to consider enrolling them in camps or daycare centers to give yourself a much-needed break. After all, it’s important to take care of yourself and your own needs so that you can be the best parent possible. You can use this time to catch up on sleep, exercise, or run errands—whatever you need to feel back on your feet!
Do You Have Three Kids in Need of Daycare? Contact Cornerstone Academy
Are you a new parent struggling to juggle all the responsibilities of a third child? Then consider enrolling your kids at Cornerstone Academy for daycare! We offer programs for infants, toddlers, preschool-aged children, and school-aged children. Just contact us today to learn more or to take a tour of our facility!
